Consider radical compassion
Everyone is on a journey, and some people are traveling through hell
The world is challenging, life is unfair, and inevitably, we are left feeling less than adequate in many of the circumstances we find ourselves in. Of course, one of the simplest ways to feel better is to look around and compare. You compare yourself to those more successful financially, those wearing smaller clothing sizes, and, of course, to those in even worse circumstances than you. It’s not avoidable and I don’t think it makes you a bad person to draw comparisons to push yourself harder or to find gratitude for your blessed station in life. But if we aren’t careful, our subconscious comparisons transform into judgments, to jealousy, and to festering resentment.
The Covid pandemic has exacerbated the worst instincts for many people desperate for contact and stability. We’ve seen the news about addiction rates soaring, about overdose fatalities cresting 100K in just a year. And it’s impossible not to notice the increase of obviously mentally disturbed people living on the streets of cities and even small towns. Their salvation does not happen only through the compassion of others, but it also does not happen without it.
This week, there was a story that quickly made the rounds about a news anchor at a midmarket station who was suspended after appearing to do a news broadcast while clearly intoxicated. The video of her disheveled appearance and slurred attempt to talk into the camera made the rounds across the internet, shared with jubilee by those who have never even begun to imagine the type of hell that woman must be going through. I won’t amplify her anonymous tormenters here, but if you know the story you’ve seen the comments.
Those words of cruelty don’t come from a place of good-natured ribbing or humor, they come from a subconscious pit of insecurity. Everyone who felt it appropriate to mock a woman on one of her worst days knows they’re just glad it wasn’t them. I have no idea what was going on in that woman’s life on that day, or what even really transpired. What I do know, is that I am an alcoholic, and it very easily could have been me.
Because I am blessed with a year of sobriety, I now practice what I have come to call “radical compassion.” That doesn’t make me better than anyone. In fact, I still have the same exact instinct to compare myself to others to make myself feel better. ‘Well, I’ve had a bad week of dieting and I feel terrible about my body… but at least I’m not drunk on TV,’ would be an easy example of how we all do this.
But after hearing a year of people share their most hideous and honest stories in the the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, I feel nothing but compassion for people who are outwardly destroying their lives. Grappling with mental illness, addiction, and a loss of spiritual connection will lead us to self-destruct in ways you could never even imagine.
The truth is, all of us, no matter our current station in life, could be the woman from that newscast. 200,000 Americans succumbed to addiction in 2020 and 2021 alone. We are only a few life choices and blessings away from the blackness of despair.
So, the next time you think, ‘hey I’m having a terrible week but at least I’m not sleeping on a grate, or begging for change on the subway,’ consider radical compassion. You never know what kind of help you could provide just by refusing to judge.
“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.” - 1 Corinthians 15:10